At this point in my life there is a huge difference between sex and dating. I will be 37 in a few days and quite frankly… dating is a chore, while sex is like a chocolate sundae (something you don’t have all the time but when you do, it’s a spontaneous decision and you enjoy every second of it.)
I joined a dating service that is supposed to match me up based on my personality and hobbies and activities and all that shit. So far I have been on 7 dates and only one of them has been someone I would consider seeing a second time. The service seems to be striking out over and over again and I truly believe that they just pull my name out of a hat and put me with whatever guy they haven’t matched in a while. I am not going to say the name of the company just yet, because at the end of this I will be publishing my memoirs. Incidentally, my ex BF from high school emailed me today to say Happy Birthday and when I told him about my dating sagas he said he would be happy to write the forward for my book when I publish it. What a brilliant idea!
Dating is the act of getting ready, the primping before the meeting, the nervousness of the first glance and the first hello, and the awkwardness of the conversation. (Or lack thereof) In my case, I never really run out of things to talk about. In fact, some might think I never shut the hell up. I like to chat and my career always makes for interesting conversation. Lately the only type of dating I have been participating in is blind dating. Even though the blind part is over when you get to date 2, sometimes the second date can be more nerve wracking than the first one. You are trying extra hard to be perfect and make an even better impression. You might exchange numbers and you might go on a third date. You may or may not kiss each other on the cheek at the end of the night. You might give a strained hug, or a simple handshake.
Sex is an entirely different story. Sometimes sex can happen when you least expect it. You might be out with a friend who brings a friend that you have maybe met once or twice, but don’t really know or socialize with. Sometimes sex can creep up on you with a complete stranger and it is usually due to instant chemistry and you both know there is no chance of a relationship. Sometimes sex occurs with a co-worker that you have been flirting with for a long subtle time. Sometimes you hook up with your ex boyfriend who you broke up with 6 months ago because you know the sex is good! Sometimes you get drunk at a bar and meet someone and go home with them for the night. You might not even know their name. The point is….. sex can be easy, quick, hot, commitment-less, passionate and without strings. Sometimes it is a total drunken trainwreck and you don’t remember how it started or ended.
Then there is flirting. Flirting occurs at the grocery store with the clerk or the guy in line in front of you. Flirting happens quickly at the bank, or at the dry cleaner or maybe even with the cute waiter at the sushi bar. Flirting is safe because you probably won’t see them again, and it happens so fast that you don’t even realize you are doing it until you are well into it and then POOF its over! The sad part about flirting is that when it ends you are left with an empty feeling that you really want to run into that person again soon because it might turn into sex or dating.